The creative fustration.

That frustration, anger the cruel sting of disappointment when our dreams are so close their within grasp, you can grab it, smell it and even touch it; yet almost so far away it seems impossible to quite reach. This is the creative frustration.

That frustration that leads to writing, scribbling out, writing and re-writing. Getting so upset you smash something, throw something or brawl your eyes out. This is the creative frustration.

That frustration that makes you so consumed, in all your own thoughts. Trying to break out and have a civilized conversation is hard all you can think is how to make it work, do it better and get it done perfectly the way you want it and believe it should be. This is the creative frustration.

I never thought of myself as a creative person, but more and more I see these character qualities in me. Feeling so deeply that I get sidetracked, my strong sense of empathy that leads me to overthink a problem, a person and analyse within an inch of life. My obsessive nature and sometimes over analysis and overthinking. My creative mind, seeks to understand the world, but doesn't let it happen naturally. I always have to be going forward moving ahead, boldly stepping out into my dreams that I don't take the time to enjoy my now. Don't take the time to be thankful or to simply small talk. My ADD nature that makes me hard to keep my attention onto just one thing, reverting from obsession to a blaze and overwhelming thoughts that I flutter from thought to thought unable to keep my attention on one thing.

I need to be sustained, need to be held and reminded sweetly that all shall be well. And I have being, I just need to choose to see it and be reminded ever so gently again. I am loved, by the One who is love. He has got me, He has a plan, He has the way forward. I don't need to know it all, just rest in the knowledge that He has done it and give Him the glory.

I believe our creative frustration stems deep into who we are. As creative people we put our souls into whatever we are doing. For me, its public speaking and helping people figure out life. I put my heart into thinking of what to say, what is happening. Getting so obsessive about a problem I won't let it go until I see the solution. But my creativity for wanting to get people to think, to inspire, encourage, uplift, equip and be built as a person internally gets the better of me. I am not super women because I don't quite know how to fix someones problems doesn't make me a failure. My thoughts, my creative thoughts, when unseen, when unrecognised make me feel like a failure, unloved, unworthy and unwanted. When people don't want to listen to how I've just noticed something knew in the intricacies of human nature and how it works, hurts me. To me this is rejection - what has being my biggest fear- but the truth is its not a rejection. Not listening to my creative frustration doesn't mean I'm unloved, it means someone I love can't comprehend what I have to say.


The way to deal with creative frustration is to more and more know we are loved to the core of who we are. If that idea falls on its face, you are still the beloved, you are still loved. Accepting we are loved regardless of what we do is hard for most creative minds because we put our worth in our thoughts and our actions not where it should be in the security of the one who loves and wants us to rest in His arms. Oh Jesus, remind me to do this more, rest in you.