Matthew Hussey taught be more than how to 'Get the guy'.

Photo: google

So.  Lets talk Matthew Hussey- the love life and human dynamics expert. 

This guy has written a book called 'Get the guy' educating women on the male mind and all about attraction and interaction between men and women. ON the surface, it appears that He is just teaching you how to get that hot guy and how to talk to the guy you fancy; now he is actually doing this but when you look a little deeper you see something else... 

First; let me tell you how I was introduced to Matthew... 

I had a situation where I couldn't tell if a man fancied me or not. I am hopeless at telling if a man actually fancies me- if a man confessed undying love for me I'd think he was being kind and polite- So I was naive would be subtly saying it. I'm scared of falling in love because I'm a passionate and committed person- if I'm in, I'm in! That terrify's me and I suppose I didn't have any self belief that I was worth it- why would a man like me? I went searching for answers and I found them; Matthew then helped me build on them.  (As Matthew explains, you have to be a 'rare gemstone' to Him- for him to want you in his life- but to be that you have to believe you are worth a great deal and are a rare gem.) 

So I needed educating and I googled it- as with everything in life google solves it! and his website came up. I spent hours reading his material, listening to his podcasts and watching his YouTube videos. This guy was good, he was intriguing. He could occupy my thoughts and stimulate my mind- most love life experts are boring and not really honest and don't give me the answer I want- the truthful one! This guy was honest and down-to-earth. He made me see some ways I'd being getting it wrong, for starters I tell a man I feel safe with him thinking its a compliment not realizing I'm drawing him in. In my female brain, its just a compliment its not a sign I like him! I also want to sort out every argument there and then, men retract and then come back when they've thought about what they're going to say, so I freak men out by coming across intense at times. I loved all this new learning and because of it I've got a bad habit of sleeping at 3am! I blame Matthew for his content... or myself for reading it at bedtime. I also realized my power as a women! Ladies, never underestimate your power! You are enough and you are beautiful. When I fixed these things my love life altered, I'm still single and I've never had a boyfriend but I'm more open.  

Then I noticed something different; when you take away talking about attraction you find at his core Matthew is educating you about the way people function. The way men think and women think, He is helping bring unity among st the sexes by doing what many men DON'T do- explaining. Simply explaining, taking the time to calmly explain. He'd say make me see how to calmly explain my point, He'd make see how to change the 'there is no men!!' mindset and how to not be scared of falling in love. He was actually interested in what I'm interested in and love- human dynamics. I love people watching on a bench- in a non-stalker manner- the way people interact is interesting and how it culture differences and male/female dynamics effect it. 

The thing I've realized, that everything has a root problem. For example, your problem with your love life and pushing men away may be at its root a fear of rejection- deal with that and the problem of pushing men away will be easily fixed. I've noticed how to talk to people, believe in what I say. 

Most importantly I felt convinced that my character was acceptable... 

I'll let you into a not so secret secret- I'm a massive geek. I love politics, history, world affairs, culture and human dynamics and religion! I have passion, I'm training to be a youth worker- I love working with young people, I'm not afraid to live my passion - okay I won't be a millionaire from helping young people- but I come alive mentoring and in a room full of youngsters!  being passionate is a good quality. I don't just casually stroll through life, I'm a total geek and I own that geekness. I love going out and relaxing but not every weekend and that okay. I used to think, "gosh I'm not the norm- I don't live for the next iphone, I don't really like small talk and my sole purpose in life is not to party it away- I'm boring!" This isn't true, I have interesting stories and interesting places that I've being. 

If you read his material, watch his Youtube videos or listen to his podcasts- look deeper next time. Underneath explaining attraction, what else can you learn? At our core we're all looking for love and acceptance. That's the thing with human dynamics, how we get there is different but we are all the same. Matthew explains, its not all about looks! sure, a man is physical but then after you've got him you have to keep him with your personality. That was interesting for me!

Lean how to be you. You can't keep a man or anyone if you can't be yourself... This is an important life lesson that you'll learn from watching him. 

If we we're all ourselves then okay, dating would be scary crazy but if we got more confident and believed in yourself if we came across rejection we'd be downcast but not destroyed- there is a massive difference. Focus on being the right person, if you wanna meet the right person. Focus on building your confidence you you can go anywhere. Rather than going anywhere in hopes to find it in a man, build your foundation of confidence by knowing what love really is and the truth then go and find your guy! This is what I've learnt watching and listening to Matthew. 

He really is more of an educator of life than just a love guru and dynamics coach. 

My hair changed and I feel different!

Photo: me

So this is my new hair.

 It was a chestnut brown but now has many highlights. Now I've never being a girl  who was bothered about changing her hair color but the opportunity to be a hair model arose and I took the plunge. I hated the idea of a dramatic change but wanted something new. So the excitement overtook the fear! 

I never realized how much a hair change can alter how you look or feel. I felt so daring and adventurous, my hair doesn't grow fast so if it looked terrible it would be like this for the next year!

I noticed in human nature people treat you differently, this picture above got 40+ likes on facebook and plenty of comments which I found very interesting, not because it was nice to get a compliment but because hair effects so much of our lives. We spend time effort and energy and money on it! the hair industry is a billion pound industry.

Not many people touch your hair! Your other half, close family and friends but that it is! You wouldn't touch a strangers hair!? or someone you just met. There is something in it that effects the way we think and I have no idea why... but I'm going to figure it out- hopefully!

Turning the world off.

(Photographer: unknown)

I like being busy. 

I have being very busy for the last 6 months, crazy amounts of things have happened. I've learnt about my future, I'm learning about myself and how to be a good youth worker and I've overcome much but one thing that gives me a buzz is my life being busy with people. Seeing people I know while I'm doing errands makes me smile, going about my buisness and talking to random people makes me smile but then all my busyness stopped. 

Placement ended for the year, University ended for the year and being a leader at a club ended for the year. 

I was left with my own thoughts, to unwind. To think, to gain some clarity and remember my name. Now I've become really good at figuring myself out, why I'm making choices, talking to people and being accountable for my actions, knowing what I want from life and why I feel the way I do and starting to change those mindsets that are wrong. Now, this was a momentum. I was going and going and going, and then I stopped. In the past this has lead to a funk and sort of lack of worth. But this time, I was determined to turn it into something good.

I turned off the world. I went away for a week, I only contacted 3 people. I sat, I read, I remembered, I prayed and I wrote- it was freeing it was healing and I had no distractions. I didn't have lots of opinions, I didn't have constructive criticism, it was an important time to re-group, to re-think and to process. I turned off the internet for hours of mindless scrolling and read productive things, articles. I re-ignited my love for 'The Guardian' newspaper and sat down to read the proper thing. I sat, I walked... 

 

I turned off the world and listened to myself, prayed and engaged in actual conversation. 

Today, turn your world off and just be. Think. Breath and just be. You're a human being not a human doing... now just be. It is essential for good mental health and good overall health.