ARRRRRRGGG

So many dreams. So much doubt.

Doubts fill my mind. Its so hard to believe in yourself, to believe you are capable and to believe your dreams are reachable and attainable. As I wrestle through my thoughts it feels like i'm walking through treacle, thick thick treacle. I grab ahold of the truth that I can do it, then that doubt comes and I try hold onto that truth, but it gets harder and harder. How can I possibly reach all of my dreams? I read a poem by Nelson Mandela in which he states its isn't our "darkness that scares us rather our light". Am I scared I'm not capable or scared I may just be able to do everything I was told I couldn't do? 

I think it scares me more, my own potential. The anger I have towards myself because I spent so long believing lies, so long believing I was unworthy and being genuinely shocked when people wanted to be friends with me because of all the rejection I faced. So long believing I couldn't write because I had a teacher who used to tell me my stories just were "not right".  But that was then, this is now. If I don't get rid of these mindsets they will inhibit me reaching my goals. I'm focusing all my might and my strength on building these new mindsets of truth. I CAN, I WILL, I AM LOVED. HE is FOR ME,  IS WITH ME, LOVES ME. 

I was told I was not clever to be in the top sets at school, told I couldn't achieve GCSE's good enough to go to 6form so should go to collage. I beat all of them lies, I got my GCSE's as good as the clever group; why don't I just look at the truth. Remember who I am. Remember I am an overcomer, I've overcome things that take people down and keep them down. With the help of others, my strong faith, and myself I have overcome so much. Yet I still doubt, still get taken down. This is it in life, we think we have ahold of something only to have to fight it again and again until its killed, dead and gone. Everytime I think of something good, a negative thought enters my brain but I will not allow it to stay there I have the choice. 

I will overcome my doubt. I will focus on the goal and the truth and run hard to get to it. 

I will remind myeslf, I can. I will proclaim, write down and tell myself I believe it until I do. I will get rid of my unsureness in my heart and start of claim back my confidence. I will empower, encourage, inspire, equip and help build all my friends and family, my readers and everyone who meets me. I will do these things.