You may not be where you want to be, but you are further than you were last year, last month and last week.
Remember you've come from somewhere, remember that you've come through that. Remember that you overcame, remember that you are a fighter, remember that you are putting one foot in front of the other. Remember you are a strong, courageous and you have someone who wants to walk with you. Someone who wants to love you. You are a true beauty, full of worth and potential. Remember to choose against your feelings to believe the truth about yourself.
You can do it. You are doing it. You will do it. Keep going.
In the words or Dory: "Just keep swimming".
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, 31 March 2014
Sunday, 30 March 2014
They said I couldn't.So I did.
Every single thing I am doing in my life right now, someone told me - to my face I could not do.
I was too outspoken and honest, it is now my greatest asset in speaking to young people.I could not get into 6form, therefore couldn't go to university. I am now doing a degree.I would never get good GCSE results and was not clever enough to do higher papers. I got good grades. I got to 6form, I got to university, I am speaking to young people.I was the reason for being bullied. Most people who were ever mean to me, through their own naivety and lack of understanding have said they were sorry too me. Infact, some became some of a my greatest friends.I would never be understood. I write on my blog which people have told me makes some coherent sense.I would never overcome. I have overcome many fears.I would fail. But the second I went to university and stuck to it showed me I would not fail.I could not make it as a public speaker. This is my dream. I am trying my hardest to attain it.
The point is, I sometimes struggle deeply with lack of self-esteem and self-worth and feel I may fail and not be able to achieve all my dreams. But I've just reminded myself through writing that I have overcome every obstacle in my life. I am getting a better self-esteem, I am starting to believe I am loved, I know I have a worth more than I used to, and I'm dealing with my fear of failure.
If I can, You can. You will, We have to believe together in ourselves. One thought at a time.
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Thursday, 27 March 2014
My thoughts changed. My life changed.
When I started to truly believe I was loved, my life changed. When I declared over myself truth, my life changed. When I choose to see things differently and changed my perspective, my life changed.
Our thoughts are keys to how we feel. They influence our feelings. We are content, then that thought comes that says "if I only had this" and BOOM you feel rubbish. That is obvious but our thoughts are more subtle than that. That subtle reminder, that subtle comment that derails our day.
What are you thinking? What goes through your head? thoughts of how much you are worth or thoughts of how much you are not worth?
If you change the way you think, your life will automatically change.
Our thoughts are keys to how we feel. They influence our feelings. We are content, then that thought comes that says "if I only had this" and BOOM you feel rubbish. That is obvious but our thoughts are more subtle than that. That subtle reminder, that subtle comment that derails our day.
What are you thinking? What goes through your head? thoughts of how much you are worth or thoughts of how much you are not worth?
If you change the way you think, your life will automatically change.
Thursday, 20 March 2014
We're having a confidence epidemic in our teens.
Its happening, an epidemic of low self-esteem.
As someone who is just healing with this issue, trying to work it out and overcoming lack of self-esteem more and more each day, I can see it happening all around. The reason why we have so many 'drop-outs' maybe is not because they are lazy, they may just not believe in themselves enough (some are lazy but not all!).
We are seeing a confidence crisis in girls and boys who really believe at their core they are not pretty, ugly, unintelligent, unworthy and unwanted. Its all around us. I'm sick of it. I can't cope seeing these young people with so much potential feel like RUBBISH. Not on my watch. I've being there, I know what lack of self-belief does to you, it destroys you. You feel isolated, lonely - then the self-pity kicks in- and in turn then start speaking that over yourself and it becomes a self-prophecy leading to you actually leaving yourself out for fear of rejection. This is academically, socially and aesthetically. I see young girls, obsessed with twitter and facebook, having to know the latest trend and feeling genuine anxiety if they don't have the latest phone and outfit. For a while, I believed that maybe they were a bit superficial but there is something deeper that in my ignorance I almost missed; a need to belong, a need to feel loved and accepted and to feel they have a worth. A future. A destiny. The latest phone for a moment brings all of these things but then its over, the latest relationship brings this is the hype of love feelings and hormones, and the highs and lows of emotions but the reality of love kicks in and it hurts. The sacrifice it takes can't always be handled by every young person because some are just wanting to fit in. This is all natural of course, every single person who has being an adult wanted to fit in. Its inbuilt in our DNA but the extent that young teenagers, who are so precious are going to is astonishing. What have we fed them? We blame society but WE ARE SOCIETY. We've sat back and watched our young ones become so obsessed with their looks, not encouraged healthy self-esteem as a general rule and created this place that says "If you're not a size 6, have a hollister jumper and have an Iphone" you can't fit in. Now we have a pandemic of young people who are so blinded by what they should be they can't see who they are. I was like this but with my personality, so blinded by the fact I didn't feel I had lots of friends and was Miss.Popular I didn't see what I was, who I was or what the truth about me was. I now am uprooting lies that are so deep within me, its taking a while to cut them off and build new highways; well how about building it properly from the beginning. I had close friends and family speak the truth over me, but I got so lost in what I was told my own age group, how rejected I felt that I just believed a lie over the truth. This is happening to young people, on a even greater scale because now in a society with statistically more broken families than ever before we are left with broken people. Parents who by circumstance are not co-parenting, single parents struggling to make ends meet. In no way am I crisiting singleness or divorce, sometimes its just a circumstance and not really anyones fault just a situation but its left us with broken parents and therefore broken children who need affection and need love but its hard to give (in no way have parents failed their children) when you have to work to live.
I'm recommending we start speaking positively and engaging our young people in positive conversations. Instead of hearing them affirm over themselves that they are not a model figure (however, it must be noted there is a difference between someone believing a lie and someone who is heavy and needs to go on a diet for health reasons) we have to re-lay the foundations of our young peoples' thinking. By making then say good things over themselves, engaging in positive conversation, helping them believe the truth and educating them into what LOVE says about them not what LIES say about them. We have to open our eyes as a society and start to deal with issues because if we don't history will repeat itself in their children.
As someone who is just healing with this issue, trying to work it out and overcoming lack of self-esteem more and more each day, I can see it happening all around. The reason why we have so many 'drop-outs' maybe is not because they are lazy, they may just not believe in themselves enough (some are lazy but not all!).
We are seeing a confidence crisis in girls and boys who really believe at their core they are not pretty, ugly, unintelligent, unworthy and unwanted. Its all around us. I'm sick of it. I can't cope seeing these young people with so much potential feel like RUBBISH. Not on my watch. I've being there, I know what lack of self-belief does to you, it destroys you. You feel isolated, lonely - then the self-pity kicks in- and in turn then start speaking that over yourself and it becomes a self-prophecy leading to you actually leaving yourself out for fear of rejection. This is academically, socially and aesthetically. I see young girls, obsessed with twitter and facebook, having to know the latest trend and feeling genuine anxiety if they don't have the latest phone and outfit. For a while, I believed that maybe they were a bit superficial but there is something deeper that in my ignorance I almost missed; a need to belong, a need to feel loved and accepted and to feel they have a worth. A future. A destiny. The latest phone for a moment brings all of these things but then its over, the latest relationship brings this is the hype of love feelings and hormones, and the highs and lows of emotions but the reality of love kicks in and it hurts. The sacrifice it takes can't always be handled by every young person because some are just wanting to fit in. This is all natural of course, every single person who has being an adult wanted to fit in. Its inbuilt in our DNA but the extent that young teenagers, who are so precious are going to is astonishing. What have we fed them? We blame society but WE ARE SOCIETY. We've sat back and watched our young ones become so obsessed with their looks, not encouraged healthy self-esteem as a general rule and created this place that says "If you're not a size 6, have a hollister jumper and have an Iphone" you can't fit in. Now we have a pandemic of young people who are so blinded by what they should be they can't see who they are. I was like this but with my personality, so blinded by the fact I didn't feel I had lots of friends and was Miss.Popular I didn't see what I was, who I was or what the truth about me was. I now am uprooting lies that are so deep within me, its taking a while to cut them off and build new highways; well how about building it properly from the beginning. I had close friends and family speak the truth over me, but I got so lost in what I was told my own age group, how rejected I felt that I just believed a lie over the truth. This is happening to young people, on a even greater scale because now in a society with statistically more broken families than ever before we are left with broken people. Parents who by circumstance are not co-parenting, single parents struggling to make ends meet. In no way am I crisiting singleness or divorce, sometimes its just a circumstance and not really anyones fault just a situation but its left us with broken parents and therefore broken children who need affection and need love but its hard to give (in no way have parents failed their children) when you have to work to live.
I'm recommending we start speaking positively and engaging our young people in positive conversations. Instead of hearing them affirm over themselves that they are not a model figure (however, it must be noted there is a difference between someone believing a lie and someone who is heavy and needs to go on a diet for health reasons) we have to re-lay the foundations of our young peoples' thinking. By making then say good things over themselves, engaging in positive conversation, helping them believe the truth and educating them into what LOVE says about them not what LIES say about them. We have to open our eyes as a society and start to deal with issues because if we don't history will repeat itself in their children.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
Who am I?
There is a section of culture I hate.
The masking part, we all wear masks. I wear them all the time, I smile when I'm sad. For so long, I hid bihind a mask of a friend, a close dear one. Who I've being brought up with, she was my twin, we did everything together and even have the same name. I subtly and subconsciously allowed someone elses ideas and ideals and what they thought about me become and define me. We've all done it.
I've being a secret nerd my whole life- I love history, politics, human nature she doesn't, she was very fashionable I wasn't. But I let her define me, I started to try and be her. She never forced this on me, I presumed from how popular she was and how she was good at most things she did that she had a winning formula. What is there is no winning formula, just being an individual?
I don't look like how you'd think. I'm not nerdy in any shape or form in the way I look ; I love fashion but prefer to find new ways to spice up my jeans, t-shirt or shirt, blazer and cardigan and trainers combination. This is my idea, besides looking at blogs and fashion magazines but nothing in the way I look tells you that I'm a nerd. I don't dress differently so you can see my 'uniqueness' I don't stand out in a crowd. But my interests lie in the nerdy section of life. This is not cool for most young adults. When people want to go partying and to nightclubs, I really don't. I want to have a long dinner, watch a movie and talk all night. I want to go to a pub for casual drink and chat. I want to deep chat and talk about everything in life and have true, honest and genuine conversation. I absolutely despise small talk and can think of a million things I'd rather do, than remark about the weather and the biscuits. I can watch Jamie Oliver and Bear Grylls all day, I absolutely love indie movies. Nothing in me is made to be popular and I'm not, I am very well loved but I'm not at the centre of the dancefloor.
Now I've realised that I'm not my bestfriend, I've also realised everything I held onto for comfort, to tell me who I was is a lie. I always thought I had a great knowledge of who I was. The horrible truth is I don't, or I didn't - now I'm starting too. I'm walking a path that not many walk because I've chosen to try and be myself. I'm taking off the mask, and its vulnerable and its scary. I'm out my comfort zone. But I'm learning to accept who I am.
My biggest battle is fear of rejection, rejection for who I am and everything I am. Its happened so much in the brief moments I've tried to be myself. It has also brought be true friendship from a few but rejection from the masses.
To try and figure myself out, I'm accepting that I am loved. Maybe the reason we don't take off our masks is for fear of rejection and that we won't be loved for who we truly are? I am loved always, all the time by the One who is love, by friends and by family. The more I know this, and choose to believe it and tell myself this truth. The more I am becoming be, the more I'm knowing who I am.
The masking part, we all wear masks. I wear them all the time, I smile when I'm sad. For so long, I hid bihind a mask of a friend, a close dear one. Who I've being brought up with, she was my twin, we did everything together and even have the same name. I subtly and subconsciously allowed someone elses ideas and ideals and what they thought about me become and define me. We've all done it.
I've being a secret nerd my whole life- I love history, politics, human nature she doesn't, she was very fashionable I wasn't. But I let her define me, I started to try and be her. She never forced this on me, I presumed from how popular she was and how she was good at most things she did that she had a winning formula. What is there is no winning formula, just being an individual?
I don't look like how you'd think. I'm not nerdy in any shape or form in the way I look ; I love fashion but prefer to find new ways to spice up my jeans, t-shirt or shirt, blazer and cardigan and trainers combination. This is my idea, besides looking at blogs and fashion magazines but nothing in the way I look tells you that I'm a nerd. I don't dress differently so you can see my 'uniqueness' I don't stand out in a crowd. But my interests lie in the nerdy section of life. This is not cool for most young adults. When people want to go partying and to nightclubs, I really don't. I want to have a long dinner, watch a movie and talk all night. I want to go to a pub for casual drink and chat. I want to deep chat and talk about everything in life and have true, honest and genuine conversation. I absolutely despise small talk and can think of a million things I'd rather do, than remark about the weather and the biscuits. I can watch Jamie Oliver and Bear Grylls all day, I absolutely love indie movies. Nothing in me is made to be popular and I'm not, I am very well loved but I'm not at the centre of the dancefloor.
Now I've realised that I'm not my bestfriend, I've also realised everything I held onto for comfort, to tell me who I was is a lie. I always thought I had a great knowledge of who I was. The horrible truth is I don't, or I didn't - now I'm starting too. I'm walking a path that not many walk because I've chosen to try and be myself. I'm taking off the mask, and its vulnerable and its scary. I'm out my comfort zone. But I'm learning to accept who I am.
My biggest battle is fear of rejection, rejection for who I am and everything I am. Its happened so much in the brief moments I've tried to be myself. It has also brought be true friendship from a few but rejection from the masses.
To try and figure myself out, I'm accepting that I am loved. Maybe the reason we don't take off our masks is for fear of rejection and that we won't be loved for who we truly are? I am loved always, all the time by the One who is love, by friends and by family. The more I know this, and choose to believe it and tell myself this truth. The more I am becoming be, the more I'm knowing who I am.
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