Lies vs. Truth

I'm coming to this realisation more and more that we've being lied too... 

We've believed lies about ourselves that are not true. That we can't achieve, that we are not capable, that we are not loved and not valued. I've said this before on this blog but its become a deeper revelation to me all the time. The things I've believed over the truths, the one I'm battling at the moment is if I am capable. I just started a blog, can I get readership? Will people be interested in what I have to say? What will they think of me? All these thoughts have caused me to not sleep, to worry endlessly, to spend my days mindlessly worrying about what others believed about me because some years back I believed a lie that I wasn't liked. This was in some ways true at the time but in no way is it true any more. Now I get down on myself and fustrated that I really believed lies. I've said that my biggest enemy is myself, I'm always battling with me. With my mind and with my thoughts, but I've being lied too and I took the bate. I'm now spending my time unravelling these lies and instead replacing them with truth. 

The best lies are so subtle you think its truth...

So, you failed A test. The lie says you'll fail every test. It is that sneaky. YOU WON'T FAIL EVERY TEST and you're not a failure. I see broken people all the time, and I think to myself, what has being said to them, what have they spoken over themselves. Because the lie comes, we accept it and then it becomes a self-fulling prophecy. 

You have more power than you think you do...

Okay, so you won't go from feeling rubbish to feeling amazing in 24 hours. But over time as you mediate and declare the truth you will begin to believe the truth; you have the power over your mind. 

I've started to declare the truth instead... 

I can achieve my dreams. I won't believe I can't achieve.

I AM capable. I won't believe I'm incapable.

People DO want to hear what I have to say. I won't believe I'm a looser.

I CAN inspire, encourage, build and challenge people. I won't believe they may not be interested.

Over the next few years, I want to take you on the journey with me as I begin to believe the truths that are before me instead of the lies. 

(Image from: lifehopeandtruth.com)

My own worst enemy when it comes to hurt.

We always think others are the reason for our unhappiness, for our failures, for our lives. What they said, it hurt, it stuck and now its haunting our minds. That niggle,that lie the one that you just think may take you down and you see their face every time that lie breaches your brains walls. What they said that you are reminded of, every time you attempt something new. Those words of loved ones that stung and cut so deep. That harsh treatment from those people, that injustice that stops us living our lives. These are all problems we all face in our lives. Events, circumstance and things that happen that are not our fault and our out of our control. You can't help what offenses were done against you, that was anothers choice. BUT right now, in the midst of your pain you have a choice. I choice to go forward, to keep wading through treacle. To keep putting one foot in front of the other. What they said, made us unhappy, when we failed it felt hard and our lives were hindered when they acted in that horrible way. Acknowledge it, accept what they did. Look it in the face and deal with it. Here are 6 steps I've used for dealing with hurt.

6 Steps to dealing with hurt:

• accept what they did and acknowledge it. It really hurt and was really really painful. 
• Write it all down.
• Forgive the person who did it (its not justifying them, its saying its out of your control and you won't see active revenge) 
• REMEMBER it was a lie, how they treated you was not how you should be treated and was not an account of your character; I struggle with this one but perseverance gets you through. 
• Choose a truth to declare and believe that about yourself. For me, its telling myself I'm loved no matter what. 
• When the hurt tries to remind you again, choose with all your might to tell that lie you have dealt with it. 

The hurt may take a few times to be dealt with before it leaves, you may have to repeat the steps over and over but eventually a new highway will be built in your brain. 

The problem is what I've found is that I am my own worst enemy because what someone said was their choice, but how I responded was mine. Rather than dealing with this straight away, I let it fester and think myself into a headache running what happened over and over again. This makes me my own worst enemy because I took the lie on board and kept it on board. I've got to stop being my own worst enemy and be my own best friend.

Look outwards its less depressing.

Why do I do that? What am I thinking? How do I feel about that? Why did I just react that way? Why am I angry?

These are questions I constantly ask myself. Constantly. I mean, I'm an analyser by nature. A deep thinker by nature, always wanting to know to try and understand. But I always over think, always get stuck on a line of thought, one thought just spirals and I follow down the path of thoughts. We all overthink certain things in our lives. We look inwards, I don't know about you but I can get so stuck in my mind I forget how to have a conversation at all with anyone. I spend all that time alone, me and my brain that talking to someone about something 'small-talky' is hard. I was told I needed to stop looking inwards and look outwards, this was a very accurate statement so I did it. I was told that I viewed things on a negative slant and I needed to just enjoy life so I'm changing them stubborn mindsets.
Looking outwards is harder at first, but more freeing in the long run. Looking at the world, so much bigger than I. Thinking about something other than trying to work everything about me out, trying to know myself all the time is just exhausting. I'll accept it, I'll say what I fear; The unknown, the fact that I just don't know. I don't know what I'm doing, where I'm going and who I am. Oh I'm learning about all these things. Looking inwards isn't going to give me the answer I crave.

Look outwards, see your life in perspective in reality. We get told to the old age cliche to see the 'bigger picture'. Thats too cheesy and said too much to mean anything anymore, but see a picture bigger than you. You're life is bigger than what rubbish you're dealing with, that niggle, that lie. You're life is so much more important than how you feel. You are special, significant loved by the one who is love. So maybe we should see it from the outwards, be less judgemental of ourselves and go a bit easier! A man once said to me: " struggle is the sign you're not yet defeated". You are not defeated by friend. Not one bit, but looking inwards will depress you. It did for me.